AN ABUSIVE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP CAN HAVE 9 KEY WARNING SIGNS
Whether it's physical, sexual, pyschological, or financial, ABUSE IS ABUSE. Intimate Partner Violence can come with warning signs. And if we're all aware of those signs, it's possible to act and stop it.
When abusers use their own anger as an opportunity to punish their partners by purposefully ignoring them.
This is targeted ignoring.
In a healthy relationship, everyone is allowed to feel angry.
People express that anger in different ways. But when that anger is purposefully directed at one’s partner in order to make them feel scared, sad, or targeted, it can be abusive.
When abusers threaten you with leaving you or telling your secrets when you say no to something.
This is blackmailing.
In a healthy relationship, your partner makes you feel self-confident and beautiful.
It's ok to say “no“ to uncomfortable situations. In a healthy relationship, blackmail is never used to threaten a partner to get what they want.
When an abuser directs insults at their partners in order to make them feel bad about themselves.
THIS IS HUMILIATION.
In a healthy relationship, partners can have disagreements.
There is never a good reason to put someone down to make them feel sad or scared.
When an abuser purposefully sways their partner's emotions to get them to act or feel a certain way.
THIS IS MANIPULATION.
Healthy relationships often include negotiation or persuasion but using tactics to control a partner's behaviors or feelings is abusive.
You and your partner willingly make compromises to please each other.
When an abuser shows suspicion over everything their partner does or says, and wants all of their attention.
THIS IS JEALOUSY.
In a healthy relationship, jealousy is a natural emotion that often accompanies relationships where partners are insecure.
But in abusive relationships, abusers use it to incite fear, sadness or control.
When an abuser exerts control over their partner, particularly around where their partner goes and how they dress.
THIS IS CONTROL.
In a healthy relationship, wanting a partner's opinion on something is normal.
When your partner compliments you, it makes your day.
When an abuser asks to read your private messages and says it's “what lovers do“ and you feel watched and scared.
THIS IS INTRUSION.
In a healthy relationship, you don't share passwords with your partner because your relationship is built on trust.
Sometimes partners will willingly share passwords, but an abusive partner can intrude into their partner's private space to control or intimidate them.
When an abuser wants to cut all ties with your friends and family.
THIS IS ISOLATION.
In a healthy relationship, your partner is happy that you spend quality time with friends and family.
In healthy relationships, partners naturally spend more time together, but being forced to cut off communication with parents or friends is abusive even if abusers says “it's for love“.
When an abuser instills fear in you so you're always scared to stand up for yourself.
THIS IS INTIMIDATION.
In a healthy relationship, you need to speak up for yourself and know that you'll be heard.
Sometimes people feel intimidated by those who are larger, louder, or different from them. But an abusive partner uses intimidation to make their partner scared and controllable.